Setting the world a blaze
Sparking rolling waves
This poem I wrote is a haiku which has 5 lines, 5-7-5 syllables. I was trying to depict the the sun shining on the world, making the sea sparkle and the world an orange-yellow color, to represent the sunlight. I used the letter S at the beginning of every line to create a sort of alliteration where you can hear the sun sizzling. As well, the words at the end of each line rhyme so the poem runs smoothly.
Your idea of using "S" at the beginning of every ling was a great idea. I especially liked how the first line has the assonance of "S" (SunS luminouS rayS) to accentuate the idea.
ReplyDeleteIn the second line, do you mean "setting the world ABLAZE"? I can't tell if you mean that the world is now a blaze (with blaze being a noun) or if you meant "ablaze"(like, the world is on fire)?
Aside from that, I like the consistent idea of fire, even when being compared to waves. It gives the idea that the fire of the sun is stronger than water.
I like how you say that the sun is setting the world on fire. And how it heats our earth. Its rays come down in waves that our world is here to enjoy. Good use of the letter S at the start of each line! A nice beautiful poem!
ReplyDeleteThe repetition of the 's' at the beginning of each line really adds a lot to the poem as Johnny and Larissa have both said. I think it really emphasizes the soft rays of the sun. I really like the imagery of the waves sparkling as well. Great job!
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